Is that you starring at me?

"Is that girl I see, starring straight back at me. When will my reflection shows who I am inside"

Once, there was this girl, who really love being alone, far from the crowd
Until her new phase of life hit her
And she became a whole different person
Who really cant be left alone, but really cannot ask anyone to accompany her
Her mind is become too loud when she's alone
Her target, goals, dreams, family, desperateness filling her mind
Talking at the same time
Pushing her to be stay in the middle of the crowd
Inside her own head

Her head full of any worried she is afraid to feel
Any sadness that she does not admit why
Any painful memories that she wish to not have it


This girl really cant be left alone
But too scared and confused
For asking someone, even she thinks there is no one
To be stay with her, even not talking,
Just be with someone make her sane

She never feel like this before
That is why she really close her self from others
Yes, this girl still proud because nobody cannot embrace her
Nobody hurt her that deep, but stil

This girl having ups and downs lately
There is another phase going on, by another phase
When she is stable, everything will be fine, she will stay sane
But
The moment she is unstable,
Her friends can detect immediately, even she is not saying anything
She never ask for help, bcs her mind are too complicated to be told

It is so cruel, to make her mind sane
Yes, sane, not clear

This girl does not want to make her friends carried her pain and try to soothe her
Yes, this stupid push people away when they try to embrace you

But, she always embrace any anxiety, any worried, any insecurity
She hugs them tight and put it in her pocket

This girl then understand, why she have really really little friends to talk
She push them away
Until they become tired, and give up

There is no turn back, you silly